Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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