Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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