I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
