too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So here I am, sexting at work.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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