after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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