erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
