So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize