Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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