Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
