just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
