Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
