The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
