We won't sleep together?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Can you repeat that, but with context?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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