Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
