your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
