I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
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All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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