i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
