Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize