i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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