Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
