i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
