Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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