So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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