I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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