If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
