Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
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Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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