I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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