Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
