we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
