arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize