Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
