I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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