You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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