Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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