Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You've changed since you got that strap on
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
