More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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