he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
