theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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