I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
