dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
