oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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