I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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