I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Randomize
