Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
