At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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