i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize