I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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