Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
