Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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