New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize