i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
