i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
