i just google imaged poop.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
