Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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