I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
