and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
