they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
