Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
