I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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