All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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